Don't talk, it's easier this way.: November 2011

Last weekend my wife (Jess), Danny's wife (Heather), Pasco native but now living in Seattle Sarah and I drove to the Tri-Cities to visit Tanner and take part in the local custom of "wine tasting." Tanner reserved a shuttle to take a group of people out to taste wine for the day as the Tri-Cities has lots of great local wineries and even a few distilleries. We bought lots of snacks (cheese, salami, bruschetta, etc.) and all prepared for a lovely little getaway weekend.

We all left work early and departed around 3pm to avoid traffic and to allow time in case there was any bad weather on Snoqualmie Pass. The drive was uneventful other than it now gets dark at 4pm so by 6pm we all felt that it must be midnight. We crossed the Columbia River twice and if you didn't know it was there you wouldn't have had any idea it was so dark out.

We arrived at Tanner's new house around 6:50 or so and were very warmly greeted. We unloaded our bags and got settled. Sarah took our car and drove off to her parent's house where she was staying. Tanner, Heather, Jess and I ate some delicious cuban style pulled pork sandwiches that Tanner had made. Well, Heather is a vegetarian but Tanner is a gracious host and purchased some boca burgers for her. We then casually played some drinking games and took it relatively easy. The four of us probably played the most mature game of asshole I have ever been a part of. It was a relatively early night of going to bed at about 12.

The next day I was the first to wake up at about 7:30 (ugh) so I just watched TV and waited for everyone else to wake up. The shuttle was to pick us up at 11:30 so everyone arrived at Tanner's house around 11. Side story, Sarah showed up way hungover and looking a bit like death (sorry Sarah). She had drank way too much wine with her mom the night before. It was pretty funny hearing Sarah talk about how her mom can totally out drink her. There were a total of 10 of us including Pat and Steph and their baby Ronan (also from Seattle), the locals (Nolan, his gf Lindsay, and Amber) and the crew. I realize this is 11 people but I'm not counting the baby. Our driver, Alex, arrived right on time and picked us up in a large shuttle that could easily handle another 10 people. It was a nice shuttle even though it smelled like cigarettes and shoe polish. We had plenty of room for our coolers full of beer (to cleanse the palate) and food. First beer, 11:30.

I don't really remember the name of any of the wineries as I wasn't paying that much attention to any of them. We proceeded to go to 5 wineries and 1 distillery. Almost all of the wines tasted good and the beer certainly did as well. As we started drinking relatively early everyone got a little bit tipsy quick (except for Pat and Steph as they are what I like to call 'good parents'). On the shuttle we constantly had Hall and Oats or Billy Joel playing. Basically it was the whitest situation imaginable. I knew that I was starting to get drunk when I kept sneaking back on the bus at wineries to shove my face full of brie and crackers. I don't know if I have every consumed so much cheese and salted meats in my life. It was a day full of laughs and really an awesome time. Some interesting things started to come up during the day. As Nolan's girlfriend had really short bleached blond hair I decided that she looked like Dido and proceeded to call her that (never to her face though, I'm a coward). Speaking of Dido, she was convinced that our driver, Alex, was from the Ukraine and proceeded to get really (I mean like screaming excited) when Alex confirmed that, yes, he is from the Ukraine originally.

We visited Blue Flame distillery (so far, every time I have tried to spell distillery I have spelled it wrong, thank you spell check) in between winery 4 and 5 so we were already at a pretty good place at that point. One of the owners of Blue Flame was there and gave us some samples while proceeding to be really sarcastic and saucey. He was funny but at times it was a bit annoying. For example, I asked him why the name Blue Flame and he proceeded to say that we were all too young to know about the Whiskey Rebellion. I admit that I didn't know about it but in my defense the Whiskey Rebellion took place in the 1790s so unless he was over 300 years old he could also be considered 'too young' to know about it. Although the guy was saucey the vodka, gin and pepper vodka was really good.

After the wine tasting the shuttle dropped us off at Tanner's house around 6pm where we proceeded to keep drinking and hang out. Someone called a couple of taxis to take us to Lee's Tahitian Bar in the heart of Richland (don't believe me? click on the link to go to Lee's MySpace page, seriously? those still exist?). Remember that we started drinking at 11:30 and that it had been dark for a couple of hours at that point. A lot of us felt that it was really late and were getting tired but we pressed on!

Oh yeah, Ronan was the coolest baby and was extremely cute. He never fussed and took a couple of little naps and never had any kind of meltdown (much to the delight of Pat and Steph). They are the coolest parents. Before we went to Lee's Tahitian Tanner's dad came and picked up Steph and the baby as they were staying at Tanner's parent's house so that the baby would be away from all of us and get some sleep. Pat was allowed to hang out with us lesser adults for the night so he said goodbye to his wife and child and continued drinking. Quick side story, there was a really awkward moment for me when Tanner's dad picked up Steph and Ronan. I didn't hear Tanner's dad correctly when he asked what was better, the red or the white wine during our tastings. I thought that he was somehow talking about the baby and was wondering if Ronan was white or red (Pat his half American India and Steph is white). After they left I asked Tanner if his dad had really said what I thought I had heard. Of course I was wrong but it was pretty funny (had to be there? sorry if the answer to that question is yes).

Well we all went to Lee's and much to our surprise we were some of the first people there. Lee's is known for making really strong drinks so everything got fuzzy quickly. I had one of Lee's Face Punches and that got things moving even more quickly. Lee's soon turned into a Karaoke bar which made things really interesting. There was one woman who sat right by the stage and wore headphone while playing World of Warcraft or something like that. She was the first person to sing and song. What did she sing? Well of course Drowning Pool - Bodies and that pretty much set the tone. There was lots of hard rock and country. The entertainment was endless and everyone believed that they were a better singer than anyone who went to the stage. When it finally became our turn? Oh it was a quick crash back to reality. I believe it was Tanner who picked Shoop by Salt and Peppa. We were atrocious, halfway through the song Jess walked off the stage and gave up and left the rest of us looking like douches, good times. The crazy World of Warcraft lady sang some more scary songs in between playing her game throughout the night. I really am not sure what happened for a while there but around 12 or so Sarah had left and Pat, Jess, Heather and I were sitting at the bar at the front of the restaurant part of Lee's and called a taxi. Maybe it was Lee himself but the bartender told us that it would take probably an hour for the taxi to get us so we ordered some different Chinese apps. I don't really remember what they were but they were delicious and I don't know if I have ever eaten anything so quickly. We then ordered more when the taxi finally came. Someone found Tanner and we headed back to his house. When we got to Tanner's we proceeded to eat the food from Lee's. I remember we got Chinese BBQ pork slices that come with the hot mustard and I continuously put too much mustard in my mouth with every bite. Tanner made some frozen pizzas and jalapeno poppers which is maybe the greatest food ever. They were really hot but nobody was willing to wait for them to cool down so people kept eating the poppers like they were Dr. Steve Brule. Now this might be the highlight for me...Heather ate pepperoni pizza! The vegetarian caved in! She even said it was delicious! Ok things got blurry quick then and I remember waking up on the living room floor around 3am. I made it to bed and got a relatively decent night of sleep.

The next morning we all got up and gathered our things and pride and proceeded to drive home. It was a great weekend filled with fun, wine, Chinese food and jalapeno poppers. Thanks Tanner!

I know that I am forgetting a lots of other things that took place but there you go...a quick rundown of the weekend.

Have a great Thanksgiving! Eat lots of pie!