Friday, June 25, 2010

Final 16 predictions...

What an awesome World Cup it has been so far. A few highlights and surprises so far...the complete implosion by Le Bleu, Italy coming to the World Cup and then forgetting they actually have to win a game or two, every USA game, Germany losing to Serbia, North Korea getting stomped by Portugal, Drogba playing after breaking his arm a week before, Slovakia (and Japan and South Korea) making it out of the group stage, England barely getting through, letting neanderthals play...lots of good stuff.  We are now done with the group stage and on to the really exciting stuff...the knockout stage.  Here are my bold predictions...

Uruguay v South Korea:  Uruguay has been playing very well and I think they will beat South Korea.  South Korea has had a great run but it will end tomorrow morning.

USA!USA!USA! v Ghana:  Every USA!USA!USA! game has nearly given me a heart attack.  I think they have the confidence from their amazing win over Algeria and will beat the Black Stars.  Side note, I really like Dempsey but please never do this again.



Germany v England:  England has not looked very good this tournament and I believe it will end at this game. Yes, Germany lost to Serbia but I think they have put the pieces together and will pull this out 2-1.  That being said, here is what my English friend made as a prediction.

'Thanks for the support stefan 2-1 dont think so mate. This world cups starting to remind me of ww2, the french have surrendred, the yanks have left it till the last minuite to get involved, the canadians didnt even rock up, and guess whos left to take down the germans again.. Gud luck against ghana tho mate, shud just do them I reckon.'


Argentina v Mexico:  I am still convinced that Maradona is going to sabotage this team at some point but so far they have looked really good.  Mexico has also played much better than I thought but I think Argentina is just too good.

Netherlands v Slovakia: This is kind of a tricky one because the Netherlands have really just cruised through this so far.  They have been playing very casually and almost nonchalantly.  It will be interesting to see how they respond in a do or die situation.  I don't think Slovakia is that great or anything but they could be a test for the Dutch.

Brazil v Chile: This sucks for Chile.  Brazil is playing really well.  Their game this morning again Portugal was pretty boring and frustrating because they didn't really seem to care too much if they scored a goal, they were content with a tie.  Brazil's defense is looking good, like really good.  They are no longer just pure offense, they are a tough team to score against now.  Brazil wins.

Spain v Portugal: This is another great game that could be very exciting.  Portugal has played really well and Spain has played below my expectations.  I still think Spain will win but it could come down to the end.  Every time I see Ronaldo play I become more of a fan.  Yeah he is a total pretty boy but the stuff he can do with the soccer ball is amazing.  His dribbling skills are off the charts, he does so many ridiculously hard moves very nonchalantly.



It has been a fun World Cup so far and I can't wait to see the rest.

Get Ready for Tomorrow Morning!



Take special notice of the bar in Las Vegas.






USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I like a fresh muffin for breakies too.

Yeah, this is one of those commercial short film thingies. So what. It's great.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

No posts for a couple of days

The writers of The Sshh are going on a business trip and will be out of town for a few days.  We all apologize for not being able to post any dumb videos.  We appreciate your understanding.


Here is a fun story to get you through the weekend.  World Cup.






VVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSS!  I mean, business trip.

A couple of dives





Saturday, June 12, 2010

Great Commercial.

I had been looking for this commercial for a couple of days...of course my friend, Pat, finds it in 
like 30 seconds. Thank you Pat.


Thursday, June 10, 2010

9 is for bust a rhyme

Or is it 10 for categories?

If Stefan can post rap, I can post a slew of random videos

Affirmations are awesome!


All the cool kids are doing it.


Maybe paying for new sports stadiums isn't so good for taxpayers.

Stadium Status from Internets Celebrities on Vimeo.



Cute! Super cute!!!!

Meet the sloths from Amphibian Avenger on Vimeo.



And finally, since the World Cup kicks off tomorrow, here is something to get you pumped.



EPICNESS0069 1 hour ago
i looked up 'epic' in the dictionary and i saw this

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Friday, June 4, 2010

Getting excited!

Tanner's World Cup Power Rankings

I know very little about soccer, but I have been doing my best to follow the World Cup at least. I used some info that I got through ESPN the Mag, some podcasts, Stefan's post, and a Eurosprt mailer to get a feel for the teams. Then I compared each team to their NBA couterpart. Using how the NBA teams finished this year, I made a list of how I expect the World Cup teams to finish. I got this idea from that blog Stefan linked to and also from a Bill Simmons podcast, so some of the comparisons are borrowed from that. See below:

1. Brazil/Lakers - Flashy, loaded with talent, and a perennial power. The favorite.


2. Germany/Celtics - Consistently historically great, lots of talent, play a complete game.

3. Spain/Magic - Maybe the most talent and the one of the most fun to watch, though not always consistent.

4. Netherlands/Suns - The deepest and most explosive offensive team but has defense questions.

5. England/Cavs - Lots of talent. Will likely do really well at the beginning, causing their tortured fans to get a lot of hope, just before failing and punching their fans collectively in the vaginas. Also may have chemistry issues because of teammates having sex with each others' loved ones.

6. Italy/Spurs - Play to win and not to entertain. On the downside of their peak.

7. Portugal/Mavericks - Lots of talent but chemistry issues and consistently underachieve.

8. Denmark/Jazz - Solid but boring and not as talented as the elite teams.

9. Argentina/Nuggets - Tons of talent but also a very volatile group with chemistry, coaching, and management issues.

10. USA/ex-Sonics - Up-and-coming team that plays with heart but is not quite there yet. Not expected to do much but could surprise because it has some nice young pieces and is well-prepared.

11. France/Hawks - A mishmash of talented players that haven't been together long and underachieve.

12. Uruguay/Bucks - Another up-and-comer that could surprise, and should be fun to watch and root for.

13. Greece/Bobcats - An under-the-radar team that could make some noise, but doesn't have very likable players or a history of being good.

14. Chile/Blazers - A team that was historically good, but then had poor character issues for a stretch and needs to rebuild.

15. Ivory Coast (pre Dragba injury)/Heat - Has one of the most exciting young players in the field, but likely doesn't have enough players around him to do anything special.

16. Cameroon/Bulls - A slightly lesser version of the team above.

17. Mexico/Rockets - One of those teams that is simply average and can be a spoiler but that's about it.

18. Australia/Raptors - A historically bad team that is better than their history but still not good.

19. Ghana/Grizzlies - A team like the one above but with less white players.

20. Switzerland/Pacers - A bunch of tall white dudes who don't have enough talent or specialization to be much more than average.

21. Nigeria/Knicks - A volatile group with a rabid fan-base who isn't very good but can be fun to watch. Like a train wreck.

22. Algeria/Pistons - A bunch of players who try to overcome lack of talent by being physical but forget you still need skill to win.

23. South Africa/76ers - A team with rabid and entitled fans but really no shot.

24. Ivory Coast (post Dragba injury)/Hornets - A team that has no chance after the player its entire game centers around went down with an injury.

25. Japan/Clippers - A team with some pieces but not enough, and no history of winning.

26. South Korea/Warriors - A slightly northern version of the team above.

27. Paraguay/Wizards - A team that might have been decent but fell apart due to its star player having to miss a lot of time with a gun related issue.

28. Honduras/Kings - A bad team with good athletes but bad players.

29. Serbia/T-Wolves - A bad team from the land of ice and snow.

30. Slovenia/Nets - A bad team with an ex-Soviet owner.

31. Slovakia/Fort Wayne Mad Ants - Poopfartandthrowup.

32. New Zealand/Yakima Sun Kings - Poopfartandthrowup.

33. North Korea/Quad City Thunder - Poopfartandthrowup.

Last blog post already out of date...

Drogba is now out of the World Cup with a broken arm.  Another injury! England's captain is now out. This could hurt their chances a bit.


Thursday, June 3, 2010

The World Cup by Stefan

There have been lots of blogs and writings about the world cup and they are probably all better than what you are about to read but here is my 2 cents. Here is my rundown/opinion on each team. I have already written two different predictions so I'm not gonna do that again.

Algeria: These guys aren't that good but they are diiiirty. Expect a crazy game against the US on June 23rd, or as they call us 'The Great Satan'. The Desert Foxes are going to try and kill of some people on the pitch.

Argentina: This team will be fun to watch. They have lots of talent including maybe the best hobbit player in the world, Lionel Messi. Unfortunately their coach, Maradona, is completely insane and probably still a huge coke head. Maradona is the greatest player Argentina has ever had but there is legitimate concern that if Argentina starts doing too well in the tournament he is going run them into the ground to preserve his own legacy.

Australia: This is probably the best team Australia has had in a long time.  Unfortunately it won't mean much as they have a hard time scoring goals.  Then again they are in a weak group and could be a surprise.

Brazil: As always they are a favorite.  These guys are goal scoring machines.  Even scarier, they now have a really good defense.  This team is different where they aren't playing with a bunch of big names but they are really good.

Cameroon: They are led by Eto'o who is a way better player than the rest of the team.  Unfortunately the rest of the players will have a hard time getting him the ball as they aren't very good.

Chile: This team has gone through a big transformation recently and becoming a decent team.  Chile was banned from the 90 and 94 World Cup after their keeper Rojas cut himself with a razor blade to fake being hit by a flare.

Ivory Coast: Led by Drogba the Ivory Coast should be a pretty good team. They have some talent but have never been able to bring it together.  Drogba is a great player to watch, but I hate him.  He plays like a bitch.  The dude is a total beast who scores amazing goals but loves to dive and play like a punk.

Denmark: This is a decent team with no real big names.  They just hustle and have good work ethic.

England: For having the best professional league England has been a huge disappointment internationally.  They consistently under perform.  This could be the World Cup where they turn it around as they have massive amounts of talent.  I hope they blow it thought because their fans are annoying.

France: Can't stand them.  They are kind of in a transition phase and are probably not going to do that well.  They qualified for the World Cup with a handball goal against Ireland.  Ireland should be in this World Cup not France.

Germany: It will be interesting to see how Germany plays this World Cup.  They lost their captain Michael Ballack a few weeks ago and are now counting on a number of young guys with not a lot of experience.  They are always a threat though and probably will still do well.

Ghana: They aren't really an exciting team as they have a hard time scoring goals.  Mediocre team at best but in a easy group.

Greece: These heavily haired men could surprise people as they are very well coached and tactically very sound.  I still find them boring.

Honduras: This is a weak team that falls apart if they get behind.  That will happen to them, a lot.  Interesting side story about Honduras.  When they lost in the 1970 World Cup qualifier it ignited a 6 day war again El Salvador.

Italy: This is an old team that relies on really boring tactics.  This is probably my least favorite team in the  World Cup.  Their strategy? Get a goal and then just run out the clock for the next 80 minutes.  Boooooring.

Japan: Great passing, terrible shooting.  Japan can get to the goal but then they don't know what to do.  They also have never won a World Cup game outside of Japan.

North Korea: They will probably being playing really hard as Kim Jon Il will probably kill them if they mess up.  Unfortunately they are not very good and they have to play some of the best teams in their group.  All of their matches will be edited in North Korea so that the public thinks they win every game. Sad.

South Korea: This is a team that could win some games but could just as easily lose them all.  They can score goals but unfortunately the Red Devils don't have a very good defense.

Mexico:  Our neighbors to the south may surprise you as their greatest strength is their defense.  Mexico often pays the price for being a dirty team and get a lot of fouls called against them.

Netherlands: One of my favorite teams to watch, these guys do nothing but play offense.  Winning or losing they will sub for more forwards.  They have never been able to fully put it together though.  What hurts them even more aside from their lack of defense is that their exceptional keeper Van der Sar has retired and they are now counting on a much weaker and younger Stekelenburg (cool name though).

New Zealand: The Kiwis have lots of holes and aren't very good.  The only positive for them? They are in a really weak group.  Maaaaybe they can get out of it.

Nigeria: This team is in disarray.  Their coach got hired in February and has had very little team to do much.  They also have massive amount of unfair pressure on them to do well from their local press, bad combo.

Paraguay: They have some great attackers but are missing one of their best forwards.  Salvador Cabanas is sidelined after being shot in January (the bullet is permanently lodged in his skull).  Paraguay is vulnerable to the counter attack due to their lack of midfield.

Portugal: Having one of the greatest and most handsomest (for the ladies) players in the world certainly helps but they have recently had a number of injuries and could struggle.  They should get out of their group but it will be a tough road for them.

Serbia: This team has talent but they have been surrounded by controversy for a while, from their coach trying to bring up his son to politicians trying to get involved with the team. Supposedly they have turned it around but I don't believe it.

Slovakia:  This is their first World Cup and they should be very happy.  Unfortunately, a lot of their team is hurt and they haven't been able to play together much.

Slovenia:  Didn't I just write about them? Oh yeah, different country.  This team plays very well together and could cause some problems if underestimated.  I consider them the Lynden High School basketball team, they have all played together forever which makes up for their lack of talent.

South Africa:  This is not a very good team but since they are the host they get to play.  No host country has ever failed to get out of the group stage but I think this will be the first.  I'm not expecting a soccer version of Invictus here.

Spain: This is really theirs to lose.  They have so much talent everywhere.  Definitely one of the favorites.  Forever Spain has underperformed but they put it together in the 2008 Euro Cup, ever since they have been exceptional.  Spain is also very fun team to watch.

Switzerland: Boring is a good word to describe this team.  They are not very creative and will certainly suffer for that.

Uruguay:  Uruguay has finally come together and are playing well.  After having terrible keepers they have one who can play.  What also helps them is that the players playing in international leagues are no longer hated by the guys who stayed local.  Team chemistry is something they finally have.

USA! USA! USA!: Could this be the World Cup where they finally play to their potential?  We will see.       Many of the US players have been playing internationally now for a number of years and have been pretty successful.  This is a team with talent but unfortunately they consistently play incosistently (is that a word?).

It is going to be a great World Cup with lots of surprises and great games.  Enjoy!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Careful on June 23rd when USA play Algeria...

those guys are mean...even the missionaries spit

Here is a nice collection of fouls that occured during Algeria v Egypt



I think the Sounders should do some chants like the fans of Manchester United do

Ronaldinho seems pretty chill...

security is not.