HardTime :: Illusion from ze frank on Vimeo.
and a Jeremy Piven movie...
Friday, May 29, 2009
Awesome Headline
This was the leading headline in the Seattle Times portion of my Yahoo! homepage this morning. Glad to know that the city is pleading not guilty.
Chris Cooley on Women's Lacrosse...
Chris Cooley (TE for the Redskins) has a blog that is mildly entertaining but yesterday he wrote about going to his wife's cousin's lacrosse game. Some excerpts...
2. The rules to girls lacrosse is lame. It's bullshit that they can never touch each other, plus the game is stopped every minute because someone bumps someone else. A dangerous shot is a freaking joke, let the girls throw the ball around a little bit, it would make it a hell of a lot more fun. I'm sure if you gave them a helmet and pads excitement would ensue. Plus I want to see girls hit.
6. I hung out after the game and played my first catch with a lacrosse stick. It was pretty tough because the girls sticks have the little pockets, but after about 5 minutes I had it down. I can throw the shit out of the ball, just gotta keep tight control. Shave my legs, give me a little tuck, throw a wig on me and I would be and All-American.
8. I love dads in the stands. They yell the smartest things and make the game much more enjoyable. I can't wait the be the best asshole dad in the stands. I promise to never let any surrounding fans down. P.S. If anyone has set next to my dad in the stands at a skins game you would know what I'm talking about. I just want to follow in his footsteps. Well, maybe with just a little bit less groping and boob signing, and a little more "Open your eyes you cock sucking ref!" yelling.
2. The rules to girls lacrosse is lame. It's bullshit that they can never touch each other, plus the game is stopped every minute because someone bumps someone else. A dangerous shot is a freaking joke, let the girls throw the ball around a little bit, it would make it a hell of a lot more fun. I'm sure if you gave them a helmet and pads excitement would ensue. Plus I want to see girls hit.
6. I hung out after the game and played my first catch with a lacrosse stick. It was pretty tough because the girls sticks have the little pockets, but after about 5 minutes I had it down. I can throw the shit out of the ball, just gotta keep tight control. Shave my legs, give me a little tuck, throw a wig on me and I would be and All-American.
8. I love dads in the stands. They yell the smartest things and make the game much more enjoyable. I can't wait the be the best asshole dad in the stands. I promise to never let any surrounding fans down. P.S. If anyone has set next to my dad in the stands at a skins game you would know what I'm talking about. I just want to follow in his footsteps. Well, maybe with just a little bit less groping and boob signing, and a little more "Open your eyes you cock sucking ref!" yelling.
Total Pwnage
Awesome World of Warcraft Video
HarveSmith (11 hours ago)
Dude I have to give you props on this video. I don't like World Of Warcraft. But with how you did this video, not to mention you got the lips to sinc with the audio. It is a work of art. Major props to you dude, good work.
HarveSmith (11 hours ago)
Dude I have to give you props on this video. I don't like World Of Warcraft. But with how you did this video, not to mention you got the lips to sinc with the audio. It is a work of art. Major props to you dude, good work.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Yo Teach...!
Kind of like what Tropic Thunder did, these are new viral videos for the movie Funny People.
Mr. Nobody
This could be kind of an interesting film.
Here is the plot synopsis from IMDB.
Nemo Nobody leads an ordinary existence at his wife's side, Elise, and their 3 children until the day when reality skids and he wakes up as an old man in the year 2092. At 120, Mr. Nobody is both the oldest man in the world and the last mortal of a new mankind where nobody dies anymore. But that doesn't seem to interest or bother him very much. The only questions that preoccupy him in the present is whether he lived the right life for himself, loved the woman whom he was supposed to love, and had the children whom he was meant to have... now his purpose is to find the right answer
Here is the plot synopsis from IMDB.
Nemo Nobody leads an ordinary existence at his wife's side, Elise, and their 3 children until the day when reality skids and he wakes up as an old man in the year 2092. At 120, Mr. Nobody is both the oldest man in the world and the last mortal of a new mankind where nobody dies anymore. But that doesn't seem to interest or bother him very much. The only questions that preoccupy him in the present is whether he lived the right life for himself, loved the woman whom he was supposed to love, and had the children whom he was meant to have... now his purpose is to find the right answer
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
When LeBron made the game winner.
Ok, so while this was happening on TNT...
This was happening on Cleveland's ABC Channel 5...
This was happening on Cleveland's ABC Channel 5...
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Viva...
Well, I am off to Las Vegas this afternoon, so here is a video:
prettysplash5bell (4 months ago)
Las Vegas means The Meadows I thought It meant something else
Not to be confused with this:
happilylil (1 month ago)
i love taking Viswiss, it's safe and no side effects. it really worked for me and i have diabetes.
prettysplash5bell (4 months ago)
Las Vegas means The Meadows I thought It meant something else
Not to be confused with this:
happilylil (1 month ago)
i love taking Viswiss, it's safe and no side effects. it really worked for me and i have diabetes.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
More on the Tri-Cities
Since Danny's and Stefan's knowledge of the Tri-Cities is limited to Old Country Buffet and some place in Tennessee, I thought I'd add this little tidbit:
Kennewick's only 7-Eleven store boasts 12 slurpee flavors (soon to be 18) and sells the highest volume of slurpees in the western hemisphere. It is expected to become the largest slurpee selling 7-11 in the world in 2009.
Eff you Manitoba! http://affiliate.kickapps.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=109806&as=23797&d=29396
Kennewick's only 7-Eleven store boasts 12 slurpee flavors (soon to be 18) and sells the highest volume of slurpees in the western hemisphere. It is expected to become the largest slurpee selling 7-11 in the world in 2009.
Eff you Manitoba! http://affiliate.kickapps.com/service/displayDiscussionThreads.kickAction?w=109806&as=23797&d=29396
Topic! Sorry this is so 2000 and late.
Tri-Cities
Tanner:I feel my emotions toward this subject are best expressed in a song I wrote. Please use your own copy of Seal's "Don't Cry" (because I know you all have one) and listen along in order to capture the true emotion.
The Tri (to the tune of Seal’s “Don’t Cry”)
Don’t be so hard on the Tri.
Just ‘cause the weather’s so dry.
And though there’s not much to see,
I hear it calling to me...
Tri-Cities.
O-ohh… Tri-Cities.
Please… Tri-Cities.
Tri-Cities.
When I was young,
And ate at taco trucks
I could eat so much,
Cause they only cost a couple of bucks.
And tumbleweeds,
They skipped along the field.
What's become of them?
And ate at taco trucks
I could eat so much,
Cause they only cost a couple of bucks.
And tumbleweeds,
They skipped along the field.
What's become of them?
When the wind picked up, they never seemed to yield…
The Tri!
You're not alone.
The Tri!
Tonight, my baby.
The Tri!
You'll always be loved.
The Tri!
That’s right.
Tri-Cities.
Today I dreamed,
Of the boat I had before.
And I feel so sad.
‘Cause I can’t take her out anymore.
My feelings hurt
But you know I overcome the pain.
With some substance use,
The memories suppressed in my brain.
The Tri!
You're not alone.
The Tri!
Tonight, my baby.
The Tri!
You'll always be loved.
The Tri!
Oh!
Hydroplanes… asparagus,
It never rains,
Just clouds of dust… if you come with me,
You’ll come to see,
Sunsets red!
Sunsets red.
I just said....
Sunsets red.
The boredom there, we entertained ourselves.
It is scary now,
To think of all the beer we stole from the shelves.
Drinking warm Bud Light,
Makes you feel like you’re a man!
Methamphetamine,
Take a sniff of it whenever you can.
The Tri.... you're not alone.
... Don’t be so hard on the Tri…
The Tri.... tonight my baby
... Just ‘cause the weather’s so dry...
The Tri.... you'll always be loved
... And though there’s not much to see...
The Tri... tonight, Tri-Cities
...I hear you calling to me.
The Tri... the Tri... the Tri... whoa the Tri...
Tri... The Tri...
Yes you’ll still be loved
The Tri.
The Tri tonight,
Ohh..
Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities,
No not Walla Walla…
Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cties
Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities,
Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities, Tri-Cities
Tri-Cities....
The Tri tonight…
You'll still be loved.
Danny:The thing that most stands out for me about the Tri-Cities is the food. Every year in high school, I traveled to the Tri-Cities for the WIAA State Cross Country Championship Meet. We stayed at a moderately shitty hotel in Richland, but it was okay because the hotel had HBO. The meet was always on Saturday, so on Friday we would go run the course and then go out for a big dinner. If you know anything about running, you know that you want to carbo-load on the night before a race, preferably by eating pasta. However, if you know anything about the Tri-Cities, you know that finding an Italian restaurant with high-school-cross-country-team-budget-cheap and decent pasta is a challenge, particularly if sixty-some-odd other cross country teams are looking for the same thing. And thus, we found ourselves, year after year, eating at that most prestigeous of eateries, Old Country Buffet. It wasn't really all that bad, except that we had to avoid all the really good stuff, because it was so greasy and fatty. So instead of delicious country-fried steak and macaroni and cheese (macaroni = good for pre-race meal, cheese = not so good), we got to eat the lumpy mashed potatoes, soggy vegetables and lots of free dinner rolls. And now, when I think about the Tri-Cities, I think about the only four times I've ever eaten at OCB.
Stefan: The Tri-Cities region was formerly a single Metropolitan Statistical Area (MSA); due to the U.S. Census Bureau's revised definitions of urban areas in the early 2000s, it is now a Combined Statistical Area (CSA). As of the 2000 Census, the CSA had a population of 480,091 (though a July 1, 2007 estimate placed the population at 497,240). The racial makeup of the Tri-Cities is 96.22% white, 2.12% african america and .92% latino or hispanic. In 1999 the Tri-Cities were collectively designated an All-American city by the National Civic League. The National Civic League gives the award out annually to ten cities in the US every year. The Tri-Cities is a great place to raise a family. It is a place with American traditions and God fearing people. That pretty much sums up Tri-Cities, Tennessee.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
This made me laugh out loud
I don't understand what the two have to do with each other, but I like it.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Nina Simone is amazing
If you've ever listened to the Reflection Eternal song Four Women and thought, "Man, that is dope. I wonder where they came up with that?", this is it. Here's some interesting history on the video and Harlem Festival of 1969.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Topics
To all three of the readers out there, I apologize that the other topics have not been posted. Danny, Tanner and I lead very busy lives. We are trying our best to get them done and hope soon more will be posted.
While you wait consider this question.
Would you rather constantly feel like you have to take a poo or would you rather constantly have hot and cold flashes?
While you wait consider this question.
Would you rather constantly feel like you have to take a poo or would you rather constantly have hot and cold flashes?
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Friday, May 8, 2009
Anime porn vs. Real porn
Tanner:
The debate over the benefits and detriments of animated and natural pornography has raged since the introduction of an explicitly adult direct to video release in Japan in 1984, Lolita Anime I: Yuki no Kurenai Kesho * Shojo Bara Kei (freely translated, Crimson Cosmetic on the Snow * Young Girls' Rose Punishment). This half-hour video, first in the short-lived Wonder Kids erotic anime series, consisted of two 15-minute dramas of rape and sadistic sexual torture/murder of schoolgirls, whose spirits exact a gruesome supernatural vengeance. The animated format allowed for the expressiveness of extreme of perverse fantasy erotica, without the consequences of subjecting actors to painful and humiliating (and likely illegal) situations. This was a new phenomenon in the culture of video pornography, and helped to propel the both the pornography and animation industries into unexplored realms. Today, animated pornography enjoys a high level of success and is widely considered if not an alternative to natural pornography, at least a sub-genre that has earned its place as a legitimate place in the industry.
In order to fully understand the phenomenon that is animated pornography, we must first examine the history and evolution of the art form. While dirty and perverse drawings have existed since the dawn of cave paintings, Japanese animated pornography as we know it today saw its origins just after World War II. The immediate postwar years saw the development of a low-grade, pulp culture in Japanese media. The Japanese press was now free to dispense with the 'wholesome' preoccupations of wartime literature and instead explore more 'decadent' themes, including a whole genre of 'carnal literature'. For many survivors, their bodies were the only possession they had managed to preserve from the destruction of the war; Japan's burned-out cities became sites for celebration of the 'raw, erotic energy of Japanese bodies'. Indeed the sexualization of the popular press and popular culture more widely was a conspicuous feature of Japan's first post-war decade. Women's bodies were prominently displayed in a manner that would have been inconceivable before the war. Public sexuality was suddenly visible and acceptable in a manner not seen prior to the war's end, and 'petting' couples were conspicuous features of parks and shrine areas. The new postwar environment saw a greater emphasis placed on fulfilling the emotional and sexual needs of the couple, which resulted in a demand for information about sexual practice and pleasure—a market to which the new “kasutori” magazines catered.
The genre was characterized by the exchange which took place between specialist researchers, amateur hobbyists and readers themselves. The magazines frequently featured roundtable talks where medical doctors, writers, readers and editors came together to discuss specific issues such as male homosexuality, female same-sex desire, sadomasochism or a range of fetishes. In these discussions, the discourse of modern medicine which rendered some sexual desires 'abnormal' was represented alongside reports from actual people who self-defined. Various levels of discourse were blended—'expert' diagnoses stood alongside personal testimonies which at times modified or contradicted the opinions of the experts. Importantly, hentai magazines such as Kitan kurabu created readers' columns to stimulate the critique of articles and encourage exchange of ideas between readers. These readers' columns not only functioned as personal advertisements which accorded people with the same interests opportunities to meet, but they also enabled the sharing of various sexual fantasies.
The hentaiseiyoku (perverse desires) genre of the postwar period was characterized by the tendency to seek out relations between a wide range of non-normative sexual fantasies and desires. In this sense it has many parallels with contemporary 'queer studies' in which a wide range of individuals whose sexual and gender identities are not sanctioned by the mainstream culture, come together in a variety of forums to consider the dynamics at play in the construction of some desires as normal and others as perverse.
This laid the groundwork for Japan animation’s ability to stretch the limits of sexual fantasy by visualizing and actualizing ‘perverse’ or ‘victimizing’ sexual behavior. Perverse sexual desire has, since WWII, been more widely accepted in Japan (where it is known as Hentai) than in the United States; animated pornography is a natural outlet for this desire. More recently, however, the phenomenon has crossed over into the United States as sexual ‘perversion’ has become more widely accepted.
The best-known "anime porn" title, and the one which started the American adult video market, is the notorious Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend; first of the "erotic grotesque" (more popularly known as "tentacle porn") genre. This began in Japan with the January 1987 release of the first of a five-video adaptation of Toshio Maeda's horror comic-book novel, produced by West Cape Corporation, best known in America for its Space Cruiser Yamato/Star Blazers space adventure series. Urotsukidoji is about the invasion and conquest of Earth by oversexed supernatural demons who enslave humanity and use our women as their sexual playthings. Generations pass. There are human plots to destroy the monsters, which often attempt to take advantage of their sexual obsession and turn it against them. The tale becomes more complex when a third group eventually emerges of human/monster crossbreeds, rejected by both parents. They are intellectually inclined to join the humans, but their intense carnal drives are still too uncontrollable to make them comfortable allies for the human rebels. Sequels eventually extended the series to eleven videos.
While Japanese pornography and Anime in general enjoyed modest popularity in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, the phenomenon virtually exploded with the increasing reach of the internet and streaming video. The Japanese-American cultural crossover and the ability to watch animated pornography over the internet propelled Japanese animation to popularity that was previously unmatched. Now, it is estimated that almost ten percent of all pornographic videos are animated Japanese videos, and almost 40 percent of all Japanese animation is pornographic.
In conclusion, Japanese animated pornography is a cultural phenomenon that allows for ‘perverse’ sexual appetites to be fulfilled visually without subjecting actors to perhaps unhealthy or humiliating actions. It is a relevant player in the adult film industry and has gained a mainstream following in the United States as a viable option in the expression of sexual art.
Danny:
Real porn.
Stefan:
This begins the obvious change in direction of topics as we now have five topics from one of our other readers. To the pornography! I have to say real porn. Real porn has actually people taking part in the act of “making love.” Even if it has the use of non-sexual objects, fists, feces, animals, food, or whatever, it is still actually being done with people. This could be thought of as limiting because the actual laws of physics and human capabilities have to be respected but I appreciate that. With anime porn anything can happen. A woman could make love to a green marsh creature with a 20ft wang (I just made that up, I swear) in an anime porn. Now to some that could be really erotic (its not to me, I swear, I just made that up) but to me that is weird. Everything that happens in anime porn is taking place because some person sitting in a little art studio thought of it and then actually took the time to draw it out. Some person actually spent hours drawing a 20ft marsh creature weiner. On top of that, think of all the people in the studio that have to do the voices for those movies. Somebody has to actually sit their and write out the uhhhs and aaaahhhhs and gregororororororo (that is the sound of a marsh creature with a 20ft wang, again, just made that up). People then have to go into a sound studio and perform those sounds. All of that is pretty weird if you ask me. So I will take the real life porno, thank you very much.
The debate over the benefits and detriments of animated and natural pornography has raged since the introduction of an explicitly adult direct to video release in Japan in 1984, Lolita Anime I: Yuki no Kurenai Kesho * Shojo Bara Kei (freely translated, Crimson Cosmetic on the Snow * Young Girls' Rose Punishment). This half-hour video, first in the short-lived Wonder Kids erotic anime series, consisted of two 15-minute dramas of rape and sadistic sexual torture/murder of schoolgirls, whose spirits exact a gruesome supernatural vengeance. The animated format allowed for the expressiveness of extreme of perverse fantasy erotica, without the consequences of subjecting actors to painful and humiliating (and likely illegal) situations. This was a new phenomenon in the culture of video pornography, and helped to propel the both the pornography and animation industries into unexplored realms. Today, animated pornography enjoys a high level of success and is widely considered if not an alternative to natural pornography, at least a sub-genre that has earned its place as a legitimate place in the industry.
In order to fully understand the phenomenon that is animated pornography, we must first examine the history and evolution of the art form. While dirty and perverse drawings have existed since the dawn of cave paintings, Japanese animated pornography as we know it today saw its origins just after World War II. The immediate postwar years saw the development of a low-grade, pulp culture in Japanese media. The Japanese press was now free to dispense with the 'wholesome' preoccupations of wartime literature and instead explore more 'decadent' themes, including a whole genre of 'carnal literature'. For many survivors, their bodies were the only possession they had managed to preserve from the destruction of the war; Japan's burned-out cities became sites for celebration of the 'raw, erotic energy of Japanese bodies'. Indeed the sexualization of the popular press and popular culture more widely was a conspicuous feature of Japan's first post-war decade. Women's bodies were prominently displayed in a manner that would have been inconceivable before the war. Public sexuality was suddenly visible and acceptable in a manner not seen prior to the war's end, and 'petting' couples were conspicuous features of parks and shrine areas. The new postwar environment saw a greater emphasis placed on fulfilling the emotional and sexual needs of the couple, which resulted in a demand for information about sexual practice and pleasure—a market to which the new “kasutori” magazines catered.
The genre was characterized by the exchange which took place between specialist researchers, amateur hobbyists and readers themselves. The magazines frequently featured roundtable talks where medical doctors, writers, readers and editors came together to discuss specific issues such as male homosexuality, female same-sex desire, sadomasochism or a range of fetishes. In these discussions, the discourse of modern medicine which rendered some sexual desires 'abnormal' was represented alongside reports from actual people who self-defined. Various levels of discourse were blended—'expert' diagnoses stood alongside personal testimonies which at times modified or contradicted the opinions of the experts. Importantly, hentai magazines such as Kitan kurabu created readers' columns to stimulate the critique of articles and encourage exchange of ideas between readers. These readers' columns not only functioned as personal advertisements which accorded people with the same interests opportunities to meet, but they also enabled the sharing of various sexual fantasies.
The hentaiseiyoku (perverse desires) genre of the postwar period was characterized by the tendency to seek out relations between a wide range of non-normative sexual fantasies and desires. In this sense it has many parallels with contemporary 'queer studies' in which a wide range of individuals whose sexual and gender identities are not sanctioned by the mainstream culture, come together in a variety of forums to consider the dynamics at play in the construction of some desires as normal and others as perverse.
This laid the groundwork for Japan animation’s ability to stretch the limits of sexual fantasy by visualizing and actualizing ‘perverse’ or ‘victimizing’ sexual behavior. Perverse sexual desire has, since WWII, been more widely accepted in Japan (where it is known as Hentai) than in the United States; animated pornography is a natural outlet for this desire. More recently, however, the phenomenon has crossed over into the United States as sexual ‘perversion’ has become more widely accepted.
The best-known "anime porn" title, and the one which started the American adult video market, is the notorious Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend; first of the "erotic grotesque" (more popularly known as "tentacle porn") genre. This began in Japan with the January 1987 release of the first of a five-video adaptation of Toshio Maeda's horror comic-book novel, produced by West Cape Corporation, best known in America for its Space Cruiser Yamato/Star Blazers space adventure series. Urotsukidoji is about the invasion and conquest of Earth by oversexed supernatural demons who enslave humanity and use our women as their sexual playthings. Generations pass. There are human plots to destroy the monsters, which often attempt to take advantage of their sexual obsession and turn it against them. The tale becomes more complex when a third group eventually emerges of human/monster crossbreeds, rejected by both parents. They are intellectually inclined to join the humans, but their intense carnal drives are still too uncontrollable to make them comfortable allies for the human rebels. Sequels eventually extended the series to eleven videos.
While Japanese pornography and Anime in general enjoyed modest popularity in the 1990’s and early 2000’s, the phenomenon virtually exploded with the increasing reach of the internet and streaming video. The Japanese-American cultural crossover and the ability to watch animated pornography over the internet propelled Japanese animation to popularity that was previously unmatched. Now, it is estimated that almost ten percent of all pornographic videos are animated Japanese videos, and almost 40 percent of all Japanese animation is pornographic.
In conclusion, Japanese animated pornography is a cultural phenomenon that allows for ‘perverse’ sexual appetites to be fulfilled visually without subjecting actors to perhaps unhealthy or humiliating actions. It is a relevant player in the adult film industry and has gained a mainstream following in the United States as a viable option in the expression of sexual art.
Danny:
Real porn.
Stefan:
This begins the obvious change in direction of topics as we now have five topics from one of our other readers. To the pornography! I have to say real porn. Real porn has actually people taking part in the act of “making love.” Even if it has the use of non-sexual objects, fists, feces, animals, food, or whatever, it is still actually being done with people. This could be thought of as limiting because the actual laws of physics and human capabilities have to be respected but I appreciate that. With anime porn anything can happen. A woman could make love to a green marsh creature with a 20ft wang (I just made that up, I swear) in an anime porn. Now to some that could be really erotic (its not to me, I swear, I just made that up) but to me that is weird. Everything that happens in anime porn is taking place because some person sitting in a little art studio thought of it and then actually took the time to draw it out. Some person actually spent hours drawing a 20ft marsh creature weiner. On top of that, think of all the people in the studio that have to do the voices for those movies. Somebody has to actually sit their and write out the uhhhs and aaaahhhhs and gregororororororo (that is the sound of a marsh creature with a 20ft wang, again, just made that up). People then have to go into a sound studio and perform those sounds. All of that is pretty weird if you ask me. So I will take the real life porno, thank you very much.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Boating
Tanner:
Quite simply, boating is my favorite thing in the world. In a twisted game of “would you rather,” I don’t think I would be able to answer the question “would you rather never have an orgasm again or never be able to go boating again”. It would at least take me weeks of brainstorming the pluses and minuses.
I think my love of boating has to be genetic in some way. Like male-pattern baldness and an inability to break a bone, I think I have inherited a strong desire to drink beers and cruise on an open-bow nautical vehicle with the wind in my face. It all comes from my dad, who gave me the keys to an 18 foot Reinell when I was fifteen and basically let me explore the river on my own. I wrecked three propellers, ran out of gas twice, an often thought it was a good idea to drunken water-ski at 4:00 in the morning. But I never failed a police inspection, and no one ever got hurt, so my dad was okay with it.
Because of my genetic predisposition and the fact that I grew up in a community with no redeeming recreational activities other than anything on the Columbia River, I honestly can’t picture a future of mine where boating is not involved. Purchasing a boat has become the main motivating factor in me improving my financial situation, and I can’t even look at a car I like on the road without first wondering what its towing capacity is. Almost every day at lunch I take a look here because I can’t help myself. Thank God Stefan has a boat and a moorage slip or else I would probably drive back to the Tri-Cities every weekend during the summer.
Number One Fan: Let’s get your boat situation handled so we can double our pleasure this summer. Give me a call whenever you need my help and I will drop what I’m doing to lend a hand. I can’t help it. It’s in my genes.
Danny:
I'm going to ask a question and then I am going to immediately answer it. What is better than being on a boat? Being on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle. Asked and answered. Here goes another one: what is better than being on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? How about drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? Can it get any better? Yes, yes it can. How, you ask. What could possibly be better than drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? Drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat with a bunch of dudes in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle, that's what. Can I top that? You don't think I can, do you? Well, try this one on for size: Drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat with a bunch of dudes in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle while listening to Warm 106.9. Yeah, that's a little slice of heaven.
Stefan:
Aww shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We running this, let's go
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat (boat, yeah)
I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight floating on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping at my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat
Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ, Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's Straight flipping copies
I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed Pashmina Afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore, then you're sure not me-oh
Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!
Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker
Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I sayI fucked a mermaid
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (woaah)I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)
Quite simply, boating is my favorite thing in the world. In a twisted game of “would you rather,” I don’t think I would be able to answer the question “would you rather never have an orgasm again or never be able to go boating again”. It would at least take me weeks of brainstorming the pluses and minuses.
I think my love of boating has to be genetic in some way. Like male-pattern baldness and an inability to break a bone, I think I have inherited a strong desire to drink beers and cruise on an open-bow nautical vehicle with the wind in my face. It all comes from my dad, who gave me the keys to an 18 foot Reinell when I was fifteen and basically let me explore the river on my own. I wrecked three propellers, ran out of gas twice, an often thought it was a good idea to drunken water-ski at 4:00 in the morning. But I never failed a police inspection, and no one ever got hurt, so my dad was okay with it.
Because of my genetic predisposition and the fact that I grew up in a community with no redeeming recreational activities other than anything on the Columbia River, I honestly can’t picture a future of mine where boating is not involved. Purchasing a boat has become the main motivating factor in me improving my financial situation, and I can’t even look at a car I like on the road without first wondering what its towing capacity is. Almost every day at lunch I take a look here because I can’t help myself. Thank God Stefan has a boat and a moorage slip or else I would probably drive back to the Tri-Cities every weekend during the summer.
Number One Fan: Let’s get your boat situation handled so we can double our pleasure this summer. Give me a call whenever you need my help and I will drop what I’m doing to lend a hand. I can’t help it. It’s in my genes.
Danny:
I'm going to ask a question and then I am going to immediately answer it. What is better than being on a boat? Being on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle. Asked and answered. Here goes another one: what is better than being on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? How about drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? Can it get any better? Yes, yes it can. How, you ask. What could possibly be better than drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle? Drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat with a bunch of dudes in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle, that's what. Can I top that? You don't think I can, do you? Well, try this one on for size: Drinking an icy-cool adult beverage on a boat with a bunch of dudes in the middle of Lake Washington on a sunny day in Seattle while listening to Warm 106.9. Yeah, that's a little slice of heaven.
Stefan:
Aww shit, get your towels ready it's about to go down (shorty, yeah)
Everybody in the place hit the fucking deck (shorty, yeah)
But stay on your motherfucking toes
We running this, let's go
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat)
I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the motherfucking boat (boat, yeah)
I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight floating on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping at my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat
Take a picture, trick (trick)
I'm on a boat, bitch (bitch)
We drinking Santana champ, Cause it's so crisp (crisp)
I got my swim trunks
And my flippie-floppies
I'm flipping burgers, you at Kinko's Straight flipping copies
I'm riding on a dolphin, doing flips and shit
The dolphin's splashing, getting everybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat, motherfucker, don't you ever forget
I'm on a boat and
It's going fast and
I got a nautical themed Pashmina Afghan
I'm the king of the world
On a boat like Leo
If you're on the shore, then you're sure not me-oh
Get the fuck up, this boat is REAL!!!
Fuck land, I'm on a boat, motherfucker (motherfucker)
Fuck trees, I climb buoys, motherfucker (motherfucker)
I'm on the deck with my boys, motherfucker (yeah)
This boat engine make noise, motherfucker
Hey ma, if you could see me now (see me now)
Arms spread wide on the starboard bow (starboard bow)
Gonna fly this boat to the moon somehow (moon somehow)
Like Kevin Garnett, anything is possible
Yeah, never thought I'd be on a boat
It's a big blue watery road (yeah)
Poseidon
Look at me, oh (all hands on deck)
Never thought I'd see the day
When a big boat coming my way
Believe me when I sayI fucked a mermaid
I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (woaah)I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Take a good hard look at the mothafuckin' boat (sha-sha-shorty, shorty, yeah)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
This Probably Hurt
Sweet claws...I just noticed that at the end he jumps over a chair using a trampoline. Super sick bra.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Candy
Tanner:
Stefan:
Some people have a sweet tooth and get cravings for candy. I do not. I prefer salty things as opposed to sweet things. Recently my mom has gotten the idea that I really like peeps. She gave me some at Christmas and then gave me some more for Easter. Each time she gave them to me she said, “I know how much you like peeps! Here you go!” I don’t have the heart to tell her I have never liked them so they just end up in the garbage after sitting on the dinning room table for a couple of weeks. Which reminds me, it about time I throw away the Easter peeps.
As children our first introduction into the world of pleasurable senses was inevitably candy. For the uber-young, candy is rock and roll, porn, youtube, twitter, bourbon, caffeine, nicotine, Viagra and boating (more on that later) combined. It was a reward for being good at the mall. It was something you snuck without telling your parents. It was something you binged on on Halloween and it made you sick and you did it any way. It was in Easter baskets, Christmas stockings, birthday piñatas, and Valentine’s pockets. I almost feel dirty talking about candy, because we, as adults, push candy on kids and basically promote addictive behavior. How else can you explain this? Or this? Or for God’s sake, THIS!? We had candy cocaine, candy beer (currently in prohibition. Sign a petition to bring it back.), candy Quaaludes, candy jewelry, and candy Vicadin. I guess giving candy to kids gives them a real taste of adulthood: numb your pain with a temporary sensual pleasure that is ultimately very bad for you. But I have found a new hope, a shining example of candyhood that may change the face of candydom forever! Can we possibly find a guilt-free, ever enjoyable candy that is not only good, but good for us, and good for the country, and quite possibly good for the world? In short: YES WE CAN!
Danny:
I have a bit of a sweet-tooth, so I am a big fan of candy. If I had to pick one favorite candy, it would probably be Swedish Fish. Nope, changed my mind, it's Charleston Chew. Wait, wait, wait, make that a Whatchamacallit. Man, now I'm hungry.
Some people have a sweet tooth and get cravings for candy. I do not. I prefer salty things as opposed to sweet things. Recently my mom has gotten the idea that I really like peeps. She gave me some at Christmas and then gave me some more for Easter. Each time she gave them to me she said, “I know how much you like peeps! Here you go!” I don’t have the heart to tell her I have never liked them so they just end up in the garbage after sitting on the dinning room table for a couple of weeks. Which reminds me, it about time I throw away the Easter peeps.
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Then Keyboard Cat made me feel okay about laughing.