NO. PLAYER NAME POSITION
1 Milos Kocic Goalkeeper ... Milos is the product of a eastern Serbian breading program. He was born with male and female genitalia.
16 Greg Janicki Defender ... Greg has no sense of smell. He lost it in 7th grade when he sniffed glue for two weeks straight.
3 Avery John Defender ... like Ricky Bobby he has two first names.
26 Bryan Namoff Defender ... his left fore-arm is three times larger than his right. He actually walks with a limp since his left fore-arm weighs so much more.
18 Devon McTavish Midfielder ... Devon originally wanted to be a radio DJ when he was told he had a great face for radio. It took him 3 years to understand it was a joke.
22 Rodney Wallace Midfielder ... before becoming a soccer player, Devon was a member of a Costa Rican circus. He was one of the freaks with his complete absence of a neck and enormous shoulders. He also has one flipper hand.
7 Fred Midfielder ... His family was to poor to give him a last name. He is also considered a disgrace in his homeland as he is the only Brazilian whose only option for playing professional soccer was the MLS.
8 Andrew Jacobson Midfielder ... Andrew is actually quite a success story. He is the only MLS player who is under 14 years old.
9 Ange N'Silu Forward ... Besides playing soccer, Ange also has a side business designing sweat bands. Unfortunately he has yet to make a sale.
17 Thabiso Khumalo Forward ... not too much about this guy besides that his nickname is "Boyzzz" (seriously?). Oh yeah I heard that he is not playing as he has a broken arm.
99 Jaime Moreno Forward ... Jaime is listed as 5'10" but everybody knows that he is actually 4'6". He was also the inspiration for some of the circus bugs in the movie Bugs Life.
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