My Hero

I've used this same traffic analogy to describe how people with a "Tea Party" attitude make life worse for everybody. This technique works like half the time because there are still assholes who cut out and go around and REALLY fuck-up things behind them, but around this area of I-5 it typically works because the people that drive there are used to big city traffic and are more patient. It doesn't work on I-90 where there is road construction because people constantly change lanes.

I do wish they made this type of instruction mandatory in drivers' ed classes.

Hotness

Stefan already shared this with pretty much everyone who reads the blog and cares about Seattle hiphop, but I wanted to post it anyway. New Fresh Espresso!

Yay Siri!

Yay!

Polica

My brother told me about this band right before I left the country for a week.  I downloaded Polica's album Give You the Ghost is good music...enjoy.

Here is where I was for the last week.

Flipside

Tanner's Long Awaited Baby Boy Review

My friends have been hounding me to watch and review Baby Boy for some time, so I’m finally getting around to it. They told me “It teaches you about women,” and since I’ve been single for the past four months, I figure I need all the pointers I can get. I’ve seen the other big John Singleton movie (Boyz n tha Hood) so I think I know what to expect: a lot of not-so-subtle preaching, some pseudo-intellectual analysis of men growing up in Black America, and raging daddy issues. I would also normally say a lot of swearing and nudity, but I DVR’d this off BET so that will all be edited out.

What follows is a running diary of my Baby Boy experience. Keep in mind that it is 3 hours because of the commercials, and actually was longer than that as I paused it to type up my comments. Tonight, I am drinking Scotch: Glenmorangie single malt, ten years aged. Let’s hope it makes me creative and not just sleepy.

0:00 - The choice to make the opening shot Tyrese (aka Baby Boy) in the womb floating in placental fluid with an umbilical cord still attached is THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF SUBTLE. I get what Singleton is trying to do, but there are better ways of doing it. The only thing seeing Baby Boy in a fleshy clam shell all tatted up makes me think of is some crazy tattoo artist with his hands up mama’s cooter drawing Chinese characters on an unborn fetus. Off to a bad start; I’ve only had half a glass of Scotch and already I’m thinking these things.

0:07 - Oh shit Mama’s banging Marcellus Wallace?! I have a feeling Marcellus is gonna teach Baby Boy how to be a man, and likely beat the shit out of him at some point. I just got way more excited to see this. I love Ving Rhames, especially when he has a 187 tat on his left bicep.

0:14 – It’s literally the next scene, but BET has a lot of commercials so it’s seven minutes later. Just wanted to point out that most people know Omar Gooding as Cuba’s little brother, but I will always remember him as the leader of the orange team on Wild N Crazy Kids. My favorite ep was the snow one, which inspired me to recreate the inner tube whip lash into more inner tubes at my cabin in third grade. I wonder what happened to Donnie Jeffcoat?

0:15 – The words do not match up with the mouths at all. I’m pretty sure they edited out about ten n-words already, which is fine but the dubbing is pretty distracting. I think they have a Puerto Rican woman dubbing Yvette’s voice. By the way, listening to 2Pac will give you nightmares, apparently.

0:20 – I just yelled with glee seeing Ving Rhames in his going out clothes. When I dress like that, my friends make fun of me. They probably wouldn’t if I had gone to prison. Damn he looks good:

0:29 – Okay every line of dialog in this movie is advice. I’m learning so much about commerce “this world moves forward through transactions,” salesmanship “you buy from a shyster, you feel like you got took. You buy from a good salesman and you feel lucky” and Zen Buddhism “Today I begin a new life. I am the master of my abilities... and today will be a great and beautiful day.” I can’t wait to learn about women. Hope I’m not too drunk by then *Refill no. 1*. Also, I want to buy clothes from Tyrese.

0:38 – It’s pretty funny hearing them talk about setting up the VCR and timer to record shows. I remember doing that as recently season 2 of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2006). That shit cray. I don’t like Ving Rhames acting like African Americans invented the barter system, though. It was totally the Mesopotamians.

0:51 – I let a lot of the stuff go to this point but listening to Ving Rhames butcher the guns vs. butter economic theory is terrible. Guns vs. butter is supposed to be about a nation’s choice to spend its resources on national defense or consumer goods, not a person’s personal investment in tangibles vs. consumables. Guns nations are North Korea, Pakistan, and Nazi Germany. Butter nations are Japan, Switzerland, and Renaissance Italy. Where would you want to live? I’m pretty sure Singleton got that question wrong on his Econ 101 midterm. Okay, I’m off my soapbox.

0:54 – Whoa. BET edited out three quarters of this fight/sex scene between Yvette and Baby Boy. I’ve actually seen that part, and I love it when they have sex and Baby Boy tells her to make tacos afterward. I wish I could have recorded this off of Black Starz! instead. Sad face. I hope this editing doesn’t compromise my education. I need to learn about women damn it! *Refill no. 2.*

1:17 – Ah, there’s the Marcellus Wallace I’ve been waiting for! Baby Boy pops his mouth off and Ving Rhames puts him in a headlock and basically makes Baby Boy wet his pants. At this point, I’m seriously thinking about naming my first son Ving Savage.

1:24 – This was awesome:

1:25 – Baby Boy loves his Mexican food. I’ve never gotten a milkshake with a burrito, but now I want to. *Refill no. 3.*

1:35 – I’m pretty drunk at this point, but this flash forward scene makes zero sense to me. Let me get it straight: Yvette goes crazy, accuses Baby Boy of something he didn’t do, punches him multiple times, then he reflex slaps her, immediately regrets it, apologizes fifty times as she’s hysterically crying, carries her to bed, starts to go down on her, and all the while Yvette is seeing all these different versions of the future culminating in a dream where Baby Boy gets shot and killed by Calvin Broadus? All I got out of that is “that bitch cray.” I’m starting to think I’ll never learn about women.

1:37 – “One of the Mexicans stole your car.” Well if I had a nickel for every time I heard that in the Pasco High hallways…Also, if Baby Boy rode that sweet ass bike all the time he’d be the coolest hipster in Portland.

1:46 – Finally some good advice about women. Mama: “You have got to stop telling these girls you want them to have your baby while y’all are doing it. Because they believe in your lying eyes.” Duly noted.

1:51 – I can’t take this “make these little crips line-up and punch them because they stole my bike and Alize” scene. I’ve seen too many episodes of the Wire to know shit does NOT work like that in the ‘hood. I need to switch to beer before I black out. *drink no. 4 – beer no. 1.*

2:01 – More good advice about women: always play Marvin Gaye. But I already knew that. Srsly, my first born = Ving Rhames Savage.

2:13 – I may just be drunk, but I’m pretty sure if you put fertilizer on any patch of bare soil in California, a pot plant would grow, so I have no idea why Mama is tripping. And Ving Rhames kisses like a fucking creep. And they really shouldn’t be smoking indoors with all the kids that are just popping up everywhere. I can’t believe I’m only 2/3 through this movie. *drink no. 5, beer no. 2*. I really think that Baby Boy and Mama have a Jimmy/Gillian relationship like on Boardwalk Empire #gross.

2:21 – Just bought “I’d Rather Fuck You” on iTunes. I’m definitely too drunk to be a productive critic right now. This song is so dope. It’s a little disconcerting knowing that Eazy-E had AIDS while rapping this though. Now I’m rambling. It’s Snoop’s fault.

2:31 – John Singleton is not a very good feminist writer/director. He’s basically saying Baby Boy is a good man because he doesn’t try to rape or steal from Yvette, and he only hit her once. And he only cheats on her every once and a while, and never with someone she works with. And he only has one other kid. I really don’t get it. Maybe if I looked like Tyrese that’d be enough. Fuck this depressing movie.

2:32 – SNOOP’S HAIR IS OUTTA CONTROL.

2:32 – Haha Baby Boy and Orange Team Omar are Tebowing!

2:35 – Oh shit Baby Boy got shot! And he had a full ride to USC on the table! Wait, maybe that’s the other John Singleton movie… *drink no. 6, beer no. 3* Wait a fucking second. Did he not get shot? Confused. Rewinding…well apparently he’s okay. I’ve had too much to drink, but Singleton’s terrible directing didn’t help. What was that scene? You don’t play the “psyche” game in a major motion picture.

2:43 – EVERY PERSON IN THIS MOVIE IS A TERRIBLE SHOT. See, a white person just would have called the cops and told them what happened and Snoop would have gotten his third strike and gone to jail for life. Baby Boy doesn’t know how to negotiate the system, so he guns down Snoop with Orange Team Omar. Now he’s in trouble.

2:44 – HE TOOK THE GUN HOME?! When you shoot someone, and that person dies, you THROW YOUR GUN AWAY. Baby Boy clearly needs to watch the Wire. I’m almost out on this movie. *drink no. 7, beer no. 4. Srsly?!* At least Ving Rhames knows what’s up, wiping down those prints.

2:55 – Well it looks like everything turned out okay. Because that’s what ALWAYS happens in the ‘hood. Child please.

3:00 – Well it looks like Baby Boy did actually teach me some things. 1) Wear a condom. 2) Make sure you get baptized after you shoot someone in the face five times in the middle of the street. 3) Don’t light a woman’s candles without her permission and then try to rape her. 4) Try a strawberry milkshake to complement your burrito next time. 5) Tune into “The Game” on BET Tuesday nights at 10/9C.

I didn’t learn a whole lot about women, but it was a fun night trying. Remember, “Mama gotta have a life too!” Peace.

A Parody of a Parody...

...that's actually funny and competent.

Tony sold my top comment:-(

YoKrog 4 hours ago 45 

Cee-Lo

Want a piggy back ride?


Cee Lo Green | A Take Away Show from La Blogotheque on Vimeo.

Kanye/Jay-Z/Owen Wilson/Woody Allen

That sh*t cray

Celebrate VD!

By watching The FP

Bon Iver and The Roots

I think this is a pretty cool version of the song 'Perth'

Set Cuteness to Overload

Never have I heard someone say "grizzly bear attack" with such joy.

MarkusMaki 4 hours ago 37 

Wake-boarding and Glaciers...Why Not?

Alaska Wakeboarding Teaser from Catchin' Air Tv Show from UpDown Productions on Vimeo.

Way cooler than your family

congratulations, you just won the youtube

67waspreyoko 1 day ago 44 

Tanner's Lackluster Melancholy Super Bowl XLVI Preview

As a pretty hardcore NFL fan, the Super Bowl has always been anti-climatic for me. Because my beloved Chargers haven’t been in the big game since 1995, (even though they have consistently made the playoffs since 2004) I am perpetually in a state of mourning the Chargers’ season when the Super Bowl shows up and consequently can’t muster any Super Bowl enthusiasm. In fact, I have held contempt for every Super Bowl champion I can remember except the 2001-02 Pats (everyone loved that team and that story, but hindsight makes them a little more hateable) and have only had a rooting interest in that team and two others since 1995: the 1999-2000 Titans and the 2005-2006 Seahawks, and they both lost. I have felt every other team who has made the big game in that time period was either too good and had annoying fans (the jealousy factor. Examples: the 2000-01 Ravens, the 2004-05 Pats and Eagles, the 2008-09 Steelers) or been a team that snuck in to the playoffs and didn’t deserve to be there (the merit factor. Examples: the 2008-09 Cardinals, last year’s Packers, the 2000-01, 2007-08 and 2011-12 Giants teams). Bottom line is the game doesn’t interest me from a competitive stand point as much as raise my own issues of sour grapes. So while I should be happy on “Football Christmas,” I tend to be bitter.

Since I typically have no rooting interest in the game, I get caught up in the extracurricular experience like everyone else: I’ll enjoy the food (my favorite was the random 2009 spread which included olive crostinis and assorted fondues), the commercials, the fanfare, the celebrity and so on. This should be fine, and satisfying, but in some sense the fact that me, as a hardcore NFL fan, gets dragged down into the hoopla bothers me even more. At the inevitable Super Bowl Party, I hate making small-talk with the women who don’t know what a DB is, or having to tolerate the guy who picked the front runner five minutes before kickoff because “he doesn’t really have a team” and beams and cheers when they do something well. I have a tendency to be an elitist in most things, and seeing my beloved NFL get watered down to entertain people who aren’t even pseudo-NFL fans irks me. Multiply this by ten when Aikman and Buck call the game. Last year was awful, and if it hadn’t been for Christina Aguliera effing up the National Anthem so bad that it spawned this awesome chain of image macros, I would dare say it was my least favorite Super Bowl since 2006.

The first Super Bowl I remember was the 1989 tilt with the Niners and Bengals. I was in El Paso visiting my Mom’s family at the time, and that game had everything: Elvis Presto, 3D glasses, Bud Bowl I, Spuds McKenzie, and an actual compelling on the field product. I became a football fan after that, and expected every Super Bowl to be so awesome. They never were, but I was hooked nonetheless. It really is a shame that no other game has lived up to that one for me. It’s like losing your virginity to a super model.

Another thing about the Super Bowl that bothers the diehards like me is that the game is so hard to forecast (because of all the distractions) and everybody expects you to have an opinion. Who would have thought Raiders center Barrett Robbins wouldn’t show up the day of the game in 2003? Who could foresee Jake Delhomme throwing for 323 yards and 3 TDs in 2004 (and Deion Branch getting MVP)? Who could have foreseen the officiating debacle that was Super Bowl XL (ANGER)? Who could have foreseen that this play (where five flags should have been thrown) would make my friend Nick pound two beers because of the defensive player scoring a touchdown rule in our Super Bowl XLIII drinking game? Okay, that was great.

This year I’m not expecting a whole lot. It’s a classic jealousy-vs-merit match-up, with Tom Brady going for his 5^th ring and Eli Manning trying to pass his otherwise superior brother in championships. Both of these fan bases are annoying (but really, who isn’t besides Bills, Lions and Vikings fans? I freaking hate my fellow Chargers backers.) While I suppose I’d rather see the Pats win, it hurts to say that. Quite honestly, the only outcome in this game that would shock me would be a Giants blowout. It could be a barn-burner, a defensive struggle, a lot of throwing, a lot of running…I have no idea what to expect. I think every gambling spread, total and prop is a stay away except for Aaron Hernandez for MVP at 12/1. I think Eli Manning will do something stupid that turns out terrific. I think Rob Ninkovich will do something stupid that turns out terrific. I think there will be a lot of touchbacks.

My prediction: PUSH  (NE -3)  NE 23, NYG 20.

Super Bowl Preview!

I have been meaning to write this for a while but keep putting it off.  Now I have 5 minutes to write something (busy day ahead of me).  I really really really dislike the Giants.  You know what team I dislike? the Giants.  As much as I dislike the Giants they have a pretty solid team who has come together at just the right time, the playoffs.  They are tenacious on D (you could say they are Tenacious D?) and their offense is potent.  One reason I really don't like the Giants? Eli Manning.  I don't need to point out how goofy he looks (done that before) but that isn't the reason I don't like him.  I still hold it against him that he had his dad say that he would not play for the San Diego Chargers when drafted by them with the number 1 pick in 2004.  Who does that? Well, besides John Elway (I don't like him much either).

The Patriots have been contenders for a number of years now but have not been to the Super Bowl since 2007 when they lost to the Giants.  People hate Tom Brady but I don't.  They guy deals with more pressure than anyone else in the NFL and has held up well.  He hasn't gotten into off field trouble, is a leader, and blah blah blah, he seems like a good person overall.  I don't mean this to seem like I am a Patriots fan because I am not but when it comes to them playing the Giants I will root for them.

Unfortunately I think the Patriots are going to lose.  The Giants are a complete team on both sides of the ball.  They have a good running game, Eli is a good quarterback (I hate admitting that) and their defense is tenacious. The Patriots have the better quarterback and have some great TEs and WRs but their defense has been very suspect all season (one of the worst in the league actually).  The defense has played well in the playoffs but I don't see that holding up.  The bad guys are going to win here.

Giants 28 Patriots 17

UTB?

That's Ultimate Tazer Ball to the laymen.



Yes Please!

The Grey

Last weekend I saw the new movie The Grey. From the preview it looks like it is supposed to be the most intense movie ever. Liam Neeson fighting wolves? Yes please. Check out the trailer below...



After watching the film I can say this...the trailer is a bit misleading. Yes, the film is super intense at parts but there are also long scenes of character development that I appreciate but after a point it just becomes dragging.

Don't read this if you don't want spoilers. Sorry.

A brief summary: A group of men flying home from working at an oil plant crash in the wilderness of Alaska. The few survivors quickly realize they are within the territory of a clan of wolves who consider them a threat and will attack them at any chance. As they try to flee the wolves they realize that survival becomes less and less of a possibility...

There are two ways to look at this movie. One, this is just a survival movie of men against the elements and wolves (think an episode of Bear Grylls). Two, this movie isn't so much about men literally surviving as it is a metaphor of their pasts catching up to them and trying to outrun them.

Viewpoint one: There are some serious flaws in this film. A group of men in the wilderness of Alaska trying to stay alive while wearing jeans and wool gloves? C'mon. Yes, they take what they can from the plane wreckage, but all they end up with is layers of sweaters and a few pairs of gloves? There is no way they could survive. To try and escape the wolves the remaining men make a rope out of shirts to cross a ravine. Three (THREE!) men make it across before the rope bridge collapses with one man hanging for dear life. When he falls to the ground on the other side there are wolves waiting to eat him. What? Ignore the fact that there is no way that three men could cross a ravine with a shirt rope but wasn't the point the point of crossing the ravine to get away from the wolves? How the hell are they then waiting on the other side? I am no wolf expert but I also find much of the behavior portrayed by the wolves as ridiculous.  The omega wolf (scroll down to the section of Social Structure) from the pack attacking the one guy who doesn't like the group mentality? Yeah, I am sure wolves pick that out.  I could go into some other problems but I think I have made my case clear enough.

Viewpoint two: This is the way that I prefer to look at the movie.  Halfway through it made me think about the book The Life of Pi. Each character (the men, wolves, even the wind and snow) were more than what you saw on the surface.  By focusing on the slow parts instead of the intense parts I got a different perspective on the film.  One man was trying to survive to get back to his two girls, one man wanted to see his sister again, another just didn't want this swan song to be him having sex with a 250 pound prostitute.  I won't give away Neeson's past (this isn't one big spoiler!) but each main character had a specific history that drew you in and made you understand why they wanted to survive so badly.  When looking at the film from this angle you realize that the details of survival don't matter so much, this film is about how no matter what we do our past haunts us and we have to live with it.  The mistakes (wolves) we have made will catch up with us.  Each one of these men wanted to get home to try and make a better life, to turn the corner and live the life they were supposed to.  Yeah, this is a downer film.

I'll be honest, I don't need to see this film again.  It was ok but depressing and again, the slow parts were sloooooow. I give it a B-.  

Space Cats

Dogs and Star Wars

This might be a theme of the Super Bowl commercials...dogs and Star Wars references.



This is the commercial they are referencing.

I am tripping from those lights.

Ping Pong