Halloween

At first Halloween meant one thing...CANDY!! Let me get this straight, I just put on a costume, go to people’s houses and they will give me candy? YES!  I’m in.  I have many fond memories of trick or treating and then lying on the living room floor and organizing my candy by the type (chocolate, fruit, nuts, etc.).  I have never really had a sweet tooth so for me it wasn't so much about eating it as it was just collecting it.  Weird, I know.

As I got older Halloween meant something very different...SLUTS! Let me get this straight, I just put on a costume, go to someone’s house and they will give me booze and there will also be sluts? YES! I’m in.  Girls are very creative when it comes to finding ways of making anything slutty on Halloween.  Slutty cheerleader, slutty mermaid, slutty cat, slutty Osama Bin Laden, slutty Amanda Knox, the options are endless.  Did I strike out on Halloween? Pretty much every year, but that is beside the point! Sluts rock. 

Now that I am where I am, married and have a house, Halloween means something different again...LAZY! Let me get this straight, I don’t have to put on a costume, I don’t have to leave the house, and I get to give away candy? UHHH ok.  I know, I know, not as cool as getting candy and seeing sluts but the lack of effort that is now necessary is great.  It is also pretty fun to judge and make fun of kids after they leave the house. Now on that topic...

I’m going to give some quick costume judgement.  I think the key to a great costume is simple and it comes down to one thing, effort.  You just have to try.  There is nothing more lame than going to a Halloween party and seeing that one person that didn’t even try to put together a costume.  I just couldn’t think of anything. Shut up, you didn’t try and it is disrespectful to the person who is hosting the party.  Just putting on a goofy hat is not a costume, no effort.  If you are going to dress up, do it right and try or don't go to the party and be too cool for a costume.