Our First Ever Guest Post

So two out of three of us (Danny and Stefan) talked about having a guest poster every once and a while.  Fortunately for us, one of our friends was willing to appear on theSSHH.  To protect his identity his name has been changed to 'Patrick' but you can also call him 'The Wrecking Ball'.  I thought about giving some kind of introduction to this topic and why we asked him to write about this, but it is amazing on its own.

I forewarn you, this might be the greatest post ever.

Girls Only Like Bad Boys…
By: 'Patrick' aka 'The Wrecking Ball'

When you hear the phrase, “Girls Only Like Bad Boys,” Good Guys all around the world cringe. “What about us?!” they say. Well, I got news for you; Good Guys can do more damage than you might think. Here is how:

First, lets be honest, single, hot women do like the bad boys. Why? Who knows, bitches be whack. They are all into the Bad Boys, get used and then wonder what happened. Fuck em. Serves them right for not seeing what was right in front of their faces!!! 

BUT, the hot girls who are in relationships are prime targets for a smooth Good Guy. Inevitably, after some time even the best efforts of a Bad Boy leaves the hot bitch wanting more. The hot girl isn’t being treated like her girlfriends say she should be. Enter you, Mr. Smooth Good Guy. Don’t come on too strong, right now your role is a breath of fresh air… the hot chick has been dealing with the over powering stank of a Bad Boy for a while now… let her enjoy the fresh air. 

Bad Boys act like dicks to women and the chicks dig it. Don’t do that. Don’t be that guy. You have to walk the line between flattering and aloof. Be blunt, say they are amazingly hot, but don’t say it to get in her pants… just casually let it fly… then walk away. They will say “hey, wait, he may have actually meant that!” No, not really, but that’s laying the groundwork. Your goal here is to give a little taster of what they are missing. 

Next, buy them a drink and don’t even hesitate to pay and then walk on to the table like its no big deal. No corny lines (“Hey, whatcha drinkin??”) and no highlighting the fact that you just bought them a drink and you better get a HJ tonight, at minimum… no none of that. Make them feel like their mere presence made buying the drink worthwhile. 

If there are other girls around, work them over a bit too. Don’t act like you are placing all your money on the one hot chick. You don’t need to talk to her, you choose to. But, make sure that you are around enough, and at the right times. When others head to the bar, make your way to her and fill the gap. Make eye contact. Challenge her with your looks to meet you there. Without being a dick, ignore the other people and focus on her when you are by her – but remember to work the rest of the group too. Its another fine line to walk, but it will come to you. Eventually you will see that she is looking to see where you are and whether you are coming over. Like taking candy from a baby.

Now, lets talk about attitude for a second. This might be the most important part. We have established that you are not going to be a dick. BUT, you must be confident. Notice that I said ‘confident’ NOT ‘cocky.’ If she happens to call you out as being cocky, be quick to point out that just because you are confident and know what you want doesn’t make you cocky. Act like you could have her if you wanted and you choose to be the nice guy. Basically, you are better than the Bad Boys. 

Things not to talk about: your latest trip to Vegas and the strippers who face fucked the bachelor, the last time you got so fucked up you made out with fat chicks, or anything about how you saved the world last night in Halo. You can talk about your last GF and the breakup. How could this be, you ask?! Well, you need to show that you learned from the break up and you are still good friends and hang out with the lying bitch. Wait, you are mature enough to learn from the breakup and still be friends?! Yes, you are a mother fucking Good Guy, write that shit down.

OK, so she is diggin your shit now. You are everything that duche bag, piece of shit, Bad Boy BF isn’t. You are almost there. By now you have both had a few drinks, you have complimented her, she knows you are mature and confident, what’s left?? This next step is key. When you get close to her (at the bar away from the group, maybe at the pool table, or even passing by on the way to/from the bathroom), fucking kiss her. Guarantee she won’t expect that!! HAHAHA. Now, DON’T BACK DOWN! Stand there for more, or stand there like that was supposed to happen. You just proved that Good Guys have huge fuckin balls. Give her a look like you just took what you wanted and god damnit you liked it. 

OK, so lets be honest here for a second. Ideally, she would kiss you, which can happen. But, she has stuck around all night and intentionally roamed away from her friends and where the fuck is the fucking duche tonight anyway?? Clearly not as close as they should be… so if you kiss her, don’t feel bad… she was asking for it. 

Now its time for a few disclaimers... and I give these to you from personal experience. First, don’t fall for the bitch. You just inserted yourself into a fucking whirlwind of flying shit. Have some fun and get out! The lovely couple has history, so it isn’t going to end all of a sudden just because of you. You might get a tug or maybe a slip of the tip, just once. But lets be honest, she is going to be all sorts of emotional and a wreck for a bit no matter what. Let that shit storm pass by. Maybe she is there waiting after its all done, maybe not. Don’t go in thinking that will work out. Next, DO NOT do any of this with the BF or really close friend around. You will get your ass beat. If she is diggin it with a good friend around, you are made. She is willing to have it known and she hasn’t stopped. But you have to take the lead from her for a little bit to make sure the coast is clear. 

In this situation the Good Guy got the girl (even if just for one night) and the Bay Boy is left dealing with the bitch who just cheated on him and because you showed her the light, she actually hates the BF for her cheating! Haha SUCKER! 

That, my friends, is how to get the girl when you are a Good Guy. It might not work the first time, or even the few times after that. But, with some hard work, practice, and big balls, you will get the girl.