Please, be responsible

OR 10 Signs You Have Had Too Much to Drink:


10. You totally think it's a great idea for your buddy to give you a boost into a second story window because he left his keys next to the Kahluha bottle.


9. You temporarily gain super-human eating abilities the likes of which are typically impossible without years of training. For Example: 15 hot dogs, or 10 Dick's cheeseburgers, or an entire gallon bag of Tim's Jalepeno potato chips...I could go on and on.


Corollary: You wake up in the middle of the night and your bedroom smells like deep-fried asshole.


8. You have a conversation with yourself that goes something like this: "No. You are NOT going to pee. You will wait until it is appropriate, or until you are entirely COMFORTABLE PEEING. Show some goddamn self-discipline."


Corollary: Or you just pee in an alley.


7. You have a heart-to-heart conversation with a friend with whom you have already had the same heart-to-heart conversation with 5 or more times.


6. You have the same heart to heart conversation, only this time with somebody whom you have just met.


5. At some point in the evening you refer to your breasts/balls/penis/vagina/ass as one of the following:


A: Itchy

B: Throbbing

C: Child-like

D: Sexy

E: Some or all of the above

4. You write a bunch of notes in the dark that you want to use in your blog about being wasted.


Corollary: And you can't read half of them the next day.


3. You and your blogging partner give each other crabs while a friend watches:








Corollary: Well, maybe not the whole crabs, but at least the claws and legs.







2. You coyly try to make out with your blogging partner's girlfriend:









Corollary: And she is completely disgusted.








1. Your friends spend half of the night explaining that you are actually a pretty cool guy.



T-Money